Do Opposites Really Attract? Experts Weigh In

Jump to navigation. From Billy Joel crooning about an uptown girl wanting a downtown man, Pretty Woman, the star-crossed lovers Romeo and Juliet, Beauty and the Beast, the Cinderella fairytale, and many more, we have been told this story of opposite attraction across multiple mediums as varying as Shakespearean literature to Disney movies. The irresistibly romantic tale of unlikely love beating the odds has become a beloved storyline and has turned into a widely held belief which explains this social and natural phenomenon. But that is also how we describe a myth 1. The problem with a myth is that the facts are often unsubstantiated, based rather on populous opinion, easy to believe but lacking the evidence to validate it. To get to the bottom of the mystery of do opposites really attract, we brought in some heavy-hitting experts. Speaking to EliteSingles, Dr. Stillwell, co-author of the study Birds of a feather do flock together: behavior-based personality assessment method reveals personality similarity among couples and friends , investigated personality similarities, using behavior and language in romantic partners and friends on social media. He explains that up to this point there was evidence for similarity in partners across age, education and socio-economic level, intelligence and values; however, similarity had not yet been established in personality traits 2. Using the Big Five Model of Personality, the study tracked the digital activities of participants on Facebook to measure their similarities and differences 3.

Opposites Attract: 10 Reasons To Date Your Polar Opposite

Even though it makes sense to date some who’s a lot like you, don’t rule out the idea of dating someone who is your opposite , either. If your partner happens to have a different outlook on life, different personality traits, and even different interests, it can make for a fun and interesting relationship. And it might even make you a stronger couple, in a lot of ways, too.

Core beliefs [ It might not work out, for example, if you don’t define cheating in the same way.

Everyone seems to agree that opposites attract. Intimate Relationships: Dating, Sex, and Marriage,” people tend to be attracted to those who.

Setting wise boundaries in dating becomes more important as two people feel more attracted to one another, especially when they’re opposites in personality. However, one reason people are initially drawn to an individual with opposite traits is a pretty healthy one. It is that we are drawn to those who possess what we do not, so that we can internalize and own that trait for ourselves.

This is a good thing, as that is how God designed the growth process. However, dating is not a good arena in which to develop oneself in a specific and important aspect of growth. Take for example Lindsey and Alex. Lindsey was more of a lover than a fighter. She was good at caring and connecting with others, but she had a hard time with assertiveness and conflict.

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What is it about our polar opposites that can be so irresistibly attractive? Why does it seem so often the laid-back, mellow guy goes for the loud, extroverted social butterfly? Right or wrong, some of us cannot seem to help ourselves! Have you always lacked that risk-taking, adventurous gene?

Directed by Jonathan Brough. With Nazeem Hussain, Kate McLennan, Kate Ritchie, Nadine Garner. A chance meeting at a bus stop allows country girl Jessica.

Where I love the hustle, they live for the weekend. Where I get excited for a night of Netflix and chill , they prefer the bar with friends. It seems pretty obvious, based on my pattern, that I agree with what 80 percent of people think : opposites attract. But why is that? To compensate for qualities we subconsciously feel we lack?

To push our boundaries? And, like, should opposites attract? According to experts, a lot of the attraction has to do with having a healthy sense of curiosity. It makes us want to get to know them, understand them. For instance, a person who is detail-oriented may feel stabilized by a person who is a big-picture thinker; a shy person may feel balanced by someone who can work a room.

For instance, as someone who loves routine and hates to fly, I find travel to be totally anxiety-inducing. Examples like this are exactly why Francis compares the whole concept of opposites attracting to the difference between a spark and slow burn. If you just want to leave the legwork of dating to the stars, use your zodiac compatibility as a guide. I Tried It to Find Out.

No, opposites don’t attract for most of us when it comes to romance

Do opposites attract? Do birds of a feather flock together? The age -old questions remains up for discussion today. A seemingly apparent and simple matter is actually much more complex than it is on the surface. The answer appears to be no. Opposites do not attract.

Have you dated someone who could be considered your “opposite” (e.g. different physically, religion, attitude etc)?. a. Yes – most of the people I date could be.

Think back to the last few people you were attracted to. Picture them in your mind — how they looked, acted, and behaved. What was it that drew you to them? Was it all the similarities you shared, or was it because they were so unlike you? Depending on how you answer, you may believe the idea that opposites attract is real.

Or maybe you’re the type to consider it a made-up phenomenon by big rom-coms trying to trick you into buying movie tickets. But is there actually some truth to it? Do opposites really attract? In an effort to answer this question and finally settle the debate, I reached out to experts — bestselling author and relationship expert Susan Winter and Pricilla Martinez, an online life coach at Blush — to get their take on whether or not people really are attracted to their opposites, and if so, why?

Here are all the reasons we’re drawn to our opposites — and whether or not a relationship between opposites has any chance of working out. I’m a fairly shy person, so I tend to find myself drawn to people who are outgoing and gregarious. It’s partly because they’re easier to talk to when I want to clam up, but also because I just really admire that quality in people — and I’m a little envious. Somehow, they have the courage to live the life we dare not live.

While it’s true that we are attracted to people who have personality traits we admire, Martinez says there’s actually even more to it than that.

Boundaries in Dating: Beware When Opposites Attract

We know that opposites attract in the field of magnetism, but what about interpersonal relationships? Are we happier with partners who are similar or dissimilar to us? Research shows that, like all matters of the heart, the answer is fairly complicated. It appears that people are most likely to pursue relationships with people whose broad characteristics are similar to their own, including religion, level of education, age, and intelligence.

Magnetic appeal: do opposites really attract in relationships? studies in psychology and attraction in today’s world of dating and relationships.

By: Joanna Smykowski. Medically Reviewed By: Sonya Bruner. A Licensed Counselor Now. Opposites attract, well they do if you’re dealing with magnets. With people and relationships, it gets complicated. This age-old saying “opposites attract” dates back to at least the s and is translated into many different languages, shared in many cultures.

Opposites might attract, but equals attract more

Welcome to my blog. I document my adventures in travel, style, and food. Hope you have a nice stay! Opposites don’t attract. This may seem surprising, but it turns out that even if people appear different, what attracts them is about personal values and how they view the world.

Aug 14, – Normally, people want their significant other to be similar to them in nature. But surprisingly, it is seen that often the contrasting characters ar.

Bella and Edward in the “Twilight” series are certainly a definition of opposites who can’t resist each other. Opposites attract — is that fact or myth? Indeed, someone whose appearance, personality, line of work or method of play, religion, life circumstances seem totally different from your own can look quite exciting. For people who are drawn to newness or are looking for something they wish they had but lack, the attraction to someone different from themselves can be quite intoxicating, at least initially.

But there have been several studies looking at whether opposites do indeed attract and for the most part the answer seems to be no. A study from the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found, in fact, that people really want to be romantically connected to someone they view as being very similar to themselves. They prefer someone of a similar level of attractiveness, wealth and status, and commitment to family and monogamy. Then, a study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that among newly married couples, there was a strikingly high similarity to each other in the area of attitudes and values, and smaller amount of similarity to one another when it came to elements of personality.

Once again, this demonstrated that people were picking mates like themselves.

Do Opposites Really Attract? Maybe – Here’s What the Research Says

After every breakup I’ve gone through, the most common comment my friends make—aside from the loyal bestie statement that they never liked him to begin with—is that I had nothing of real substance in common with these boys: “You can’t have a relationship based solely on the fact that you both like staying at nice hotels. I’m a pop culture—obsessed, sports-loving book nerd who happens to adore New York City nightlife. But I tend to fall for homebodies who couldn’t care less about the newest speakeasy opening in the Lower East Side and haven’t picked up a novel since it was required in high school.

I’m also not very religious and am admittedly frivolous with my money, while the boys I’ve dated come from different but strong religious backgrounds and are quite frugal.

I’m concerned that I’ll be bored dating a guy who is too similar to me. What should I do? -Barbara. Dear Barbara,. The adage “opposites attract”.

This story line, common in books and movies, sometimes pops up in real life, too. But can relationships between opposites really succeed? Do opposites truly attract each other in the first place? Your true opposite would be unlike you in every way, which would probably make it somewhat difficult to get along. Perhaps, at first glance, your parents seem completely different: Your mother is short-tempered, forgetful, and dedicated to order, while your patient, untidy father has the memory of an elephant.

People can have seemingly conflicting personalities without being total opposites — clearly your parents are, deep down, pretty similar. A better word might be complementary. To complement something means to emphasize its unique and special traits. Imagine a relationship where both partners prefer to take charge and struggle with open communication.

Over time, the other partner might learn to do the same. Differences often create balance in a relationship while also providing an opportunity to learn from each other and grow. How you feel about your own traits can matter.

Is There Any Truth to “Opposites Attract”?

You know those couples that seem to have nothing in common? They look to be the complete opposite of one another, yet they seem to mesh. Do opposites really attract? And, when It comes to online dating, why do opposites attract?

Do Opposites Attract? eharmony Staff. December 12, We’ve all heard it over and over again. “If you want to find a great relationship, look for an opposite.

By Sarah Knapton , Science Editor. The theory that opposites attract is a myth, scientists have found, after discovering that people are only attracted to those who hold the same views and values as themselves. It suggests that strangers hoping to hit it off would do better to play to their similarities rather than trying to impress the other person with attributes which make them unique.

Will they connect? Or walk away? Those early recognitions of similarity are really consequential in that decision. To find out how important similarity was to forming relationships researchers from Wellesly and the University of Kansas approached more than 1, random pairs, including romantic couples, friends and acquaintances, and asked them to complete a survey about their values, prejudices , attitudes and personality traits. The information was then compared to see how similar or different each pair was and to see whether people in longer relationships had more in common.

In a second experiment, the researchers surveyed pairs who had just met in a college classroom setting, and then surveyed the same pairs later. There was virtually no change in beliefs over time suggesting that if couples go into a relationship hoping to change the opinions of the other it is unlikely to work. Prof Bahns added: “Though the idea that partners influence each other is central in relationships research, we have identified a large domain in which friends show very little change– personality, attitudes and values, and a selection of socially-relevant behaviors.

However the researchers warn that the quest for similarity in friends could result in a lack of exposure to other ideas, values and perspectives.

Do Opposites Attract?